DEATH AND STAN THE "MAN "

Iris Brossard a neurologist introduced me to Doug Koch a biologist. Doug and Iris are foodies and Doug took us to Café Apamate, a tapas bar with no liquor license. Tapas was invented to be just the right size to keep dust out of your wineglass. In any case, “apamate” means cocoa, and their cocoa tapas are tops. Apamate is good but noisy.

My doctor back in New York was a D.O. rather than M.D. Doug works at PCOM. That’s PCOM.edu. I thought it should be PCOM.com. It’s the Philadelphia College of Osteopathic Medicine. Doug says they’re stuck with PCOM. edu

Whate’er.

I forgot my wallet so Doug had to take me to the surprisingly healthy and tasty PCOM cafeteria. Then he showed me around the College. I liked Stan best. Currently the most famous painting in Philadelphia is Eakins’ Gross Clinic. That’s a painting of an anatomy lesson. Doug said the college was on spring break so they weren’t dissecting anybody. He showed me a half dozen brains, then he introduced me to Stan.

Stan’s a robot who is yet capable of every illness. He lies on a table wearing pajamas with a sheet up to his chin. Stan possesses, however, an extensive wardrobe. He breathes. His eyes respond to light. He bruises. He responds to every drug. Stan is, in sum, standard. Brian, who is Stan’s boss, sits behind a one-way mirror monitoring the medical students and speaking as Stan. Doug showed me how to inject certain drugs into Stan. This was great!

How are you feeling now, Stan?

“Unfortunately, Doctor Andre, I fear you gave me too much of the wrong drug and I am afraid that soon, yes -- wait -- I feel terrible pain -- I’m certain that soon -- yes, even now, I am, finally and agonizingly, dead.”

Medical error.

We didn’t have time to see Noelle the Gal. Apparently she can get pregnant and give birth. I wonder how she resembles a certain lady robot advertised on-line?

[Doug Koch and Javier Dominguez have a Philadelphia restaurant and food blog http://blogs.myspace.com/djkoch ]