Indians eliminate Yankees
Back in 1999 just before the Millennium, God and Allah were in a bar up in heaven. God has always been a Yankee fan. Allah favors the Mets. “Jeez, God,” said Allah, “for like a thousand years the Yankees always win. Why don’t you make it interesting? how about giving my boys a chance?”
All right, said God, games should be fair. The Mets can win henceforward sometimes, and the Yankees accordingly will lose. And such is The All-new Divine Plan.
But Lo! The Yankees immediately in that Very Millennial Year, 2000, defied the Lord’s Plan and humiliated the Mets to win the World Series. Allah sneered. Some God! Saith Allah, come October You can’t even control nine guys on a ball field.
Maybe they’re more afraid of Steinbrenner than Me, saith the Lord. You Allah may smite New York Itself and henceforward I assure You until the Mets win and win again, the Yankees will come close and then closer but, like the Cubs, with whom I am also wroth, never again triumph.
Allah cackled. He prepared his mighty airliners.
All right, said God, games should be fair. The Mets can win henceforward sometimes, and the Yankees accordingly will lose. And such is The All-new Divine Plan.
But Lo! The Yankees immediately in that Very Millennial Year, 2000, defied the Lord’s Plan and humiliated the Mets to win the World Series. Allah sneered. Some God! Saith Allah, come October You can’t even control nine guys on a ball field.
Maybe they’re more afraid of Steinbrenner than Me, saith the Lord. You Allah may smite New York Itself and henceforward I assure You until the Mets win and win again, the Yankees will come close and then closer but, like the Cubs, with whom I am also wroth, never again triumph.
Allah cackled. He prepared his mighty airliners.
posted by Michael Andre at
9:33 PM
3 Comments:
WHY THE ROCKIES WILL BEAT THE RED SOX:
The Red Sox won the World Series in 1918 and 2004. In 1918, the Stanley Cup Finals were canceled because of the world-wide influenza
epidemic. Hockey players and fans alike were dropping like flies. In
2004 the Stanley Cup Finals were canceled because of a labor dispute. Those are the only recent years without a Stanley Cup and the only recent years the Red Sox won the World Series. "No puck: Red Sox good luck." However, this year the Stanley Cup Finals went off without a hitch. Everything connects. Ergo, the Red Sox cannot win. Rockies in
five.
WHY THE RED SOX BEAT THE ROCKIES:
God and hockey rule. The very night the Red Sox defeated the Rockies in Denver, the New Jersey Devils opened their new arena The Rock in Newark. Before the Devils moved to New Jersey, they were the original Colorado Rockies. Despite Vatican 2, only Latin is spoken in Heaven. There must have been a translation problem.
Sports brings out the Stephen Colbert in me.
A friend made me watch this:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=HSUAAQftKCk
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